I am sat drinking Bournville cocoa, listening to Classic FM (other cocoas and radio stations available), about to ramble, sometimes rant about growing up, etc. I will be writing about the S word (sex), so please, if you may be offended, stop reading now.
As a child, I had a paper round, like many other children. ‘Comic day’ was my favourite morning. It would take me twice as long because, well, I was into comics. Among many, in them days, was Eagle and Boys World. Eagle because it had cutaway drawings of rockets and stuff. And also Dan Dare, who (my imagination being what it was) I thought was actually a real astronaut. Any road, Boys world had ‘what would you do?’ (You had to suggest a solution to problem of the week) and also, my fav.: Wrath of the Gods. Greek mythology to me and you. I loved it, breathed it. So much so, I gave a 10 min. talk in class. Except, my characters were not ‘real’. Instead of Chiron, my teacher centaur was Klop. I didn’t understand why everyone burst out laughing!
I was nieve I’d say. Now we come to the S word. My mother brung up 5 lads, almost completely on her own. Not many benefits then, what there was was means tested. Which means ‘they’ sold half mums furniture if she didn’t qualify. Mums find it hard to cope with so many children, work, clean, cook and then have tender loving moments with them. Consequently, we didn’t have much. Bath times (tin bath, one after another) of course, being all male, well no surprises there. Mum bathed after we’d gone to bed. Sheltered upbringing, most certainly.
Fast forward leaving school year, still nieve. Still more interested in comics. In college, I met Susan (now my wife). My shyness they now diagnose a disease. Took me 3 months to ask Sue out. Then I went through adolescence in 6 months. Utter turmoil. So much so, I didn’t complete my second year, but went onto Baking at another college, so’s not to loose Sue. Please understand, no S word. We were both too innocent. I eventually arrived in Lewis (Outer Hebrides), Sue in Germany. Three years later, we were married.
Now, the rant. When Sue was a dinner lady, her contract did not involve hugging a child if he/she fell down badly. In fact she had to wear gloves to dress a wound. She was disciplined for holding a boys tongue for a second after he stuck it out at her. Sue and I were looked at severely when we went to the cinema to watch a Disney years ago (no children with us). Imagine me going on my own! What do I do, on my own, if I see a lost child somewhere ? Answer, I don’t know. I have taken a nonchalant watch in the past, keeping up with the child until mum came along, disowning the child of course. You know what I mean. ‘What is this world coming to’ I have heard people say. Answer, I don’t know.
I do know, my Bournville’s gone cold, and its getting dark outside. Time to but the hens and ducks to bed. ‘Til next time, see thy.
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